Unlock Your Potential with The Good Love Project's Coaching
Welcome to The Good Love Project Safer Sex Resource Hub
Our easy-to-use library of reliable sexual health information. Here you’ll find the basics of STIs, barrier methods, consent, and testing — written clearly, kindly, and with real-world practicality in mind.
Sexual Health basics
STI/StDS
Straightforward information about sexually transmitted infections: what they are, how they spread, common symptoms, and why testing and open communication matter. No fear-mongering — just clear facts you can actually use. Jump to section.
Barrier Methods
Practical guidance on condoms, gloves, dental dams, and lube so you can reduce risk, feel more confident, and make safer sex simple and approachable. Jump to Section
Testing
What sexual health testing looks like, when to test, and how to find low-cost or free options. Knowledge is power — and testing is a form of self-care. Jump to section
consent
Consent is clear communication, mutual agreement, and ongoing choice. This section offers simple frameworks for asking, listening, and navigating boundaries with care and respect. Jump to section
STIs: What You Need to Know (Without Shame or Scare Tactics)
What are STIs?
STIs are infections passed from one person to another through sexual contact. This can include:
- Genital-to-genital contact
- Oral sex
- Anal sex
- Skin-to-skin contact
- Sharing sex toys without cleaning or using a new barrier
Some STIs are caused by bacteria (like chlamydia or gonorrhea). Others are caused by viruses (like herpes or HPV). This matters because bacterial infections can often be cured with antibiotics, while viral infections are usually managed rather than cured.
How common are they?
STIs are far more common than people realize — especially among young adults and anyone who has multiple partners over a lifetime.
Having an STI does not mean someone is “dirty,” careless, or unethical. It usually just means they are human and sexually active.
The best protection against stigma is accurate information and honest communication.
Symptoms
Many STIs have no symptoms at all, which is why testing matters.
When symptoms do show up, they might include:
- Unusual discharge
- Burning with urination
- Sores or bumps
- Itching or irritation
- Pain during sex
- Pelvic pain
But here’s the key takeaway you want readers to leave with:
You cannot tell whether someone has an STI just by looking at them — including yourself. Testing is the only reliable way to know.
Transmission (in simple terms)
STIs can spread through:
- Unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex
- Skin contact with infected areas
- Sharing sex toys without cleaning or using a new condom
- Sometimes through saliva (in the case of herpes)
Barrier methods (like condoms, gloves, and dental dams) significantly reduce risk — but they don’t eliminate it entirely. That’s why testing + communication are both important.
Stigma & Shame
I can help you manage stress and anxiety through coaching and mindfulness techniques. We will work together to identify your stress triggers and develop coping strategies to help you achieve a more balanced and peaceful life.
A Quick guide to common barriers
External condoms
External condoms
External condoms
Best for:
- Penetrative sex
- Covering sex toys
Key tips:
- Use a new condom for each partner and each act
- Check the expiration date
- Leave a small space at the tip
- Add lube for comfort
Internal condoms
External condoms
External condoms
Best for:
- Vaginal or anal sex when someone prefers control over their own protection
Key tips:
- Can be inserted ahead of time
- Can be used with water-based or silicone lube
- Do not use with an external condom at the same time
Dental dams
External condoms
Gloves & finger cots
Dental dams
Best for:
- Oral sex on vulvas or anuses
Key tips:
- You can buy them or make one from a condom by cutting it open
- Add a little lube on the body side for comfort
- Hold it in place during use
Gloves & finger cots
What barriers do (and don’t) do
Gloves & finger cots
Best for:
- Manual (hand) play
- Digital penetration
- Any contact with fluids
Key tips:
- Nitrile is usually better for people with latex sensitivity
- Use plenty of lube
- Change gloves between partners or body parts
Lube makes barriers better
What barriers do (and don’t) do
What barriers do (and don’t) do
Lube reduces friction, makes sex more comfortable, and lowers the chance of condoms breaking.
Simple rule of thumb:
- Latex condoms → use water-based or silicone lube
- Never use oil-based lube with latex condoms (it can cause breakage)
- Silicone lube lasts longer but can degrade some silicone toys
When in doubt, water-based lube works with almost everything.
What barriers do (and don’t) do
What barriers do (and don’t) do
What barriers do (and don’t) do
Barriers help reduce risk — they don’t eliminate it.
They work best when combined with:
- Honest communication
- Regular testing
- Cleaning sex toys between partners
Using barriers is one of the most effective ways to practice safer sex.
Sexual Health Testing: When, Why, and How
Sexual health testing is a normal part of taking care of your body — just like dental checkups or annual physicals.
Testing isn’t about distrust or guilt. It’s about having accurate information so you can make empowered choices for yourself and your partners.
Why testing matters
People test because they want to:
- Know their status
- Protect their own health
- Reduce risk for partners
- Feel more confident in their sex lives
- Catch infections early when they are easiest to treat
Knowing your status is an act of self-respect and care for the people you connect with.
When should I test?
Most sexually active people should test:
- At least once a year, even if you feel fine
- Before a new sexual partner
- After a new partner
- If a condom breaks
- If you or a partner has symptoms
- If you’ve had multiple partners since your last test
If you’re having sex with several partners, testing every 3–6 months is a good practice.
Important reality check
Many STIs have no symptoms.
You can feel perfectly healthy and still have an infection — which is why testing is so important.
What does testing look like?
Depending on what you’re being tested for, testing may include:
- A urine sample
- A swab from the genitals, mouth, or anus
- A blood test
Most tests are quick, private, and much less awkward than people imagine.
Remember to ask your provider exactly what tests you’re getting — and why.
Where to get tested
You can get tested at:
- Planned Parenthood
- Local sexual health clinics (Denver Health, Vivent)
- Community health centers
- Your primary care provider
- Some urgent care centers
- Mail-in testing services (Test Yourself for Colorado residents)
Many clinics offer low-cost or free testing based on income.
Consent Matters. Consent is sexy. Consent is mandatory
Clear Communication, Mutual Choice, and Ongoing Respect
Consent is the foundation of pleasurable, ethical, and safer sex. It means everyone involved clearly agrees to what is happening — freely, knowingly, and without pressure.
Consent isn’t a single moment; it’s an ongoing conversation that can shift as feelings, bodies, and desires change.
Consent is:
- Freely given — no guilt, pressure, or coercion
- Enthusiastic — people want to be there, not just “putting up with it”
- Informed — everyone understands what they’re agreeing to
- Specific — “yes” to one thing is not “yes” to everything
- Reversible — anyone can change their mind at any time
More than just "yes" or "no"
Consent is a skill, not a script. It involves:
- Checking in
- Listening
- Paying attention to body language
- Respecting pauses or hesitation
- Being open to feedback
Asking for consent
You might say things like:
- “Can I kiss you?”
- “Are you okay if I touch you here?”
- “Do you want to keep going, or take a break?”
- “Is this still feeling good?”
- “What are you in the mood for tonight?”
Welcome, Good Lover!
Ready to build the relationships you really want? Start with a strong foundation by discovering your True Intimacy style!